@TheQuietPsycho: I'm "the VCR was heavy enough to bludgeon a large farm animal" years old
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Teowulf: When people post sad things on Facebook I just want to hug them and whisper softly in their ears, "no one cares."
@NurseSeymour: You never really know how many inches you're gonna get or how long it'll last. Snow, maybe.
@rockymomax: [having sex] Her: HARDER! ME: Divide 110 into two parts so that one will be 150% of the other. What are the 2 numbers? Her: 44&66 HARDER!
@KentWGraham: Don’t believe cartoons. No matter how hard you throw a toilet plunger, it won’t actually stick to someone’s face.