@TheQuietPsycho: I'm "the VCR was heavy enough to bludgeon a large farm animal" years old
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@briangaar: The new Batman is super realistic -- he's attracted to porch lights, makes your girlfriend scream and then the cat eats him
@kwirkyKerri: Even the coffee is leaving a bad taste in my mouth. Wait...am I being poisoned? *drinks it anyway*
@DzNutz83: Your honor, if you watch the tape in reverse you can clearly see the officer planting the evidence in my vehicle.