@OctopusCaveman: I'm thinking about getting a dog so I'm not the only one in this household who goes apeshit when the pizza guy rings the doorbell.
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@RyanHolmquist: Castro: I will not die until America is destroyed Trump: I'm gonna be the president Castro: well then
@lawrence_bear: Apparently sleeping your way to the top, doesn't mean dozing off in meetings or taking naps in the copier room.
@DumbConfessions: *sees couple holding hands* *violently breaks them apart* "Go. You're free now."