@Midgetspar: I'm thinking about giving that Call of Duty game a shot, but first I'm gonna try one last time to get past level 4 on Duck Hunt.
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@T_N_Crumpets: Wife holding bank statement: What's this payment? Me: we're sponsoring a panda! W: so is this monthly? M: No, it's just for the one skydive
@tuckerflodman: To Do List While in Jail 1. Ask someone for an Eskimo kiss and when they shake their head no say,"Hey why'd you start without me?" 2. 3.
@ventivodkacran: When someone yells "STOP!" I never know if it's Hammertime or if I should collaborate and listen.