@UnFitz: I'm thrilled that you found Jesus. Where was he hiding?
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@HeyZeus666: I got mugged in college by a gang of Asians. Two of them held me down and a third corrected my math homework before fleeing into the night.
@tastefactory: I log in and out of Facebook at the same speed a frightened kid runs down into the basement to grab something and runs back up.
@david8hughes: Me: kids, your mother & I are in a gang now. There's room for 2 more members Son: but there's 3 of us Me [petting both our dogs]: 3 what?