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@UncleDuke1969: "I'm tired."
- Beat Cop
@iAmDelFreaky: Her: OMG! You didn't feed my cat while I was away?
Me: Do you remember that time you didn't harvest my crops on FarmVille? Now we're even.
@jaelteon: interviewer: do you have any experience in a leadership role?
me: well, I am the group admin for a WhatsApp group
@LuvPug: My boss called in sick of me
@Rainbowbunee: Pretty woman, the kind that don't eat meat
Pretty woman, the kind that likes to hug trees
Ohoh what can I do? She's making me eat vegan food
@iwearaonesie: mom: no TV for a week!
dad: and after you take a bath you can't use your hands to get out of the tub
*sons jaw drops*
mom: [whispers] nice