@o__0Dev: I'm tired of conventional beauty standards that say I can't wear a ski mask in a bank
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@LuckoftheDraw86: *hands you baby* Here's your Christmas present I got it at the mall but it didn't come with a gift receipt & people may be looking for it.
@JesKeepSwimming: Sorry I can't make it to lunch today. I forgot to shorten "people" to ppl in a text this morning and now I'm totally behind schedule.
@MoistPork: Have your tribal tattoo call my tramp stamp and let's make beautiful, douchey babies together.
@joejwest: COP: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea SUSPECT: Is it bring your kid to work day? LITTLE GIRL: [slams fist on desk] Answer the question