@o__0Dev: I'm tired of conventional beauty standards that say I can't wear a ski mask in a bank
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@SatansTongue: 6th grade nurse: do you play baseball Me: uhh why Nurse: your right arm is so much stronger than- Me: oh yeah! Yeah I play baseball so much
@JVarsityCaptain: I just want to hug this out. With my hands around your neck type of hug. What I mean is, I want to strangle you.
@Rollinintheseat: AT&T sent me a text apologizing for their service outage. I sent them a text thanking them for making it impossible for people to call me.