@roxiqt: I'm tired of dating. The first person to show up at my apartment with a domesticated raccoon & a lasagna can have my hand in marriage or a friendly fist bump, if they prefer.
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@FunnyMojoJojo: I think Newton was actually hit by pigeon shit when he discovered gravity.. Falling of apple was just a 'dignified' cover up...!!
@Alex_N_Chains: Truthful Tuesday: The last time I had sex, I was so excited afterward I fired my musket skyward, alerting the Confederates to our presence.
@Elizasoul80: If I were Hillary, I'd ask Michelle Obama to stay on as first lady.
@IncrediblyRich: And so it begins...
@AnkCoupleTO: If my mom had just faked having a headache I wouldn't be writing this bullshit on the internet right now
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