@Screwoff315: I'm tired of this long distance relationship! Time to move the liquor cabinet to the living room!
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@Storminika: *Attempts to give a Homeless guy change* Him: Thanks. You never know, one day my situation might be you. Me: Really? *holds on to change*
@kwirkyKerri: Never underestimate a well placed "that's what she said". Unless your boss is standing behind you. Thanks for the heads up Michelle.
@jimmytorosian: Slave: I know a way to escape Hipster slave: My friend Harriet has a better way. You probably haven't heard of it. It's really underground.
@DontTouchMyWine: I’m the kind of girl who won’t stop until you’re screaming your safeword. Related: Your safeword’s the first 16 digits of your credit card.