@Screwoff315: I'm tired of this long distance relationship! Time to move the liquor cabinet to the living room!
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@LolaFaglana: I taught my youngest niece and nephew to say "Mommy steals credit cards" when they're in a checkout line.
@ohpeetie: My hobbies include reading books, eating snacks, and sending emails referencing attachments without the attachments.
@Carbosly: I love it when waiters tell me to tell them when to stop grating cheese on my meal. It's cheese, dude. We'll be here a while.