@RandomAntics: I'm told as a lady in my 30s I shouldn't wear certain things anymore - like halter tops, pigtails, and the scalps of my vanquished enemies.
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@TheTweetOfGod: Next time you kill thousands of innocent people in a disaster, tell the judge you "work in mysterious ways" and see how far it gets you.
@Adyaces: Dr: What seems to be the problem? Me: It's my hearing, Doctor. Dr: Can you describe the symptoms? Me: Mmm, well, there's Homer, Bart....
@truegritrumble: (Halloween Costume Shop) ME: *leaving after not finding anything* CASHIER: *pointing to my face* Those masks aren't free, buddy.
@daemonic3: Cookies from Best to Worst: 1. Chocolate chip 2. Girl Scout 3. Oreos ... ... 727. Browser 728. Tossed 729. Raisin