@breatheandlove: I'm too old to still be "getting too old for this." I've arrived.
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@GrowlyGrego: *knocks on door* You're too fat. "Wha--" You're way too dumb. "Wait--who.." Hi, I'm Roy. I sell insecurity systems. You're too poor for one.
@TedOfficialPage: If Mitt Romney was president, we'd blame everything on him. "Damn why is it so cold outside? It wasn't this cold when Obama was president."
@TankCesar: My doctor tells me I'm healthy enough for sexual activity...I'm just not attractive enough.