@mattZillaaaa: I'm totally fine with everyone leaving the country if Trump wins or if Hillary wins. I need more space
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@SortaBad: "I'm excited for the continental breakfast" *sees a buffet just full of ice cubes* "What the..." Sign: Today's Continent is Antartica
@kamtweeting: There are hospitals for the criminally insane. And then there are parliaments for the insanely criminal.
@Darlainky: My single friends are always talking about clubbing and being hit on. Today's social scene sounds so violent.
@eedrk: alien: take me to your leader me: uh i'm the leader alien: oh, chill. anyway, me: why didnt you think i was the leader alien: no no, me: why