@mattZillaaaa: I'm totally fine with everyone leaving the country if Trump wins or if Hillary wins. I need more space
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@trentistweeting: "My date was cute but he couldnt perform in the bedroom." *cuts to me in bedroom butchering Wonderwall on guitar* i swear this never happens
@Bandersnaaatch: Until my sneezes have time to figure out their beliefs, please stop blessing them.
@Gentlemenhood: Did you know when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown but only 4 to extend your arm and punch them in the face.
@iGreenMonk: I've been charged with murder for killing a man with sandpaper. Honest, I only meant to rough him up a bit.