@mattZillaaaa: I'm totally fine with everyone leaving the country if Trump wins or if Hillary wins. I need more space
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@SSDated: I told a boy I loved him once. We were 6. He punched my arm & stole my cake. Life lesson. Never lose sight of what's important. #Cake.
@Home_Halfway: WIFE: I love you NEIL DEGRASSE TYSON: My experiences with you lead to an increase in dopamine and oxytocin as well
@ninjabaconpizza: My wife saw someone kill horses in Minecraft and she is making me build a Minecraft memorial for dead Minecraft animals.
@Reverend_Scott: [on date] Ok, don't let her know ur a vampire. Her: I think I'll have a steak. A STAKE?? [turns into bat and flies away]