@jaketapper: I'm trying to envision something more fitting than this election actually ending in a Biden-Trump fist fight and i cannot
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@BlackCatBettie: If you have a horse and you didn't name it Edgar Allan Pony, we can't be friends.
@BradBroaddus: Some guy just passed toilet paper under the stall without me even asking. I'm not sure if he is a pervert or a wizard.
@Playing_Dad: [At crime scene] Detective: You need to take this seriously Me: I am *picks up leg bone* Me: I found this humerus. Lol. D: You're fired.
@LoveNLunchmeat: I always cry at weddings, but only because being that close to large cakes makes me so happy.