@jaketapper: I'm trying to envision something more fitting than this election actually ending in a Biden-Trump fist fight and i cannot
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@SirEviscerate: Due to a gypsy curse, I gain weight each time I consume more calories than are burned by my basal metabolic rate plus daily activities.
@GlumGeorgeLucas: My interior decorator quit on her first day on the job. I told her to paint all the walls in my house to be green screens.
@cbdoubleu: Wife: I lost my day planner. Me: Not in your briefcase? W: No. I looked EVERYWHERE. M: Well it looks like you've got a hidden agenda W:
@tarashoe: i love nature :) sittin in grass, soakin up sun, listenin to all those weird ringtones that come from those animals in the trees or whatever