@LeonEarlgrey: I'm under the weather today, also so is everyone else, that's how weather works.
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@TheDailySchmuck: *wakes up after all night party* *rolls over* *rolls over* *rolls over* How did I get on this escalator?
@BlindChow: Hi, I'd like a salamus sandwich, please. "You mean salami?" No, just a single salamus. "Um ok, anything else on that?" Yes, one pepperonus.
@buttnight: I came home to a trail of bread leading to the bedroom & of course I followed, only to find my husband in bed with 10 ducks. I'm heartbroken
@thedailymarker: Men are from Mars. Women are from Venus. Gays are definitely from Saturn. You know the only planet chic enough to accessorize with a belt.