@somecleverthing: I'm unpredictable. Like a dad on a field trip.
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@Snarfernini: If you ever say 'I seen' in a sentence. I will never sleep with you. Under any circumstances. Ever.* *including zombie apocalypse
@WeissBrandon: Relax white people, black people have the "N" word. But we still have words like "Yacht", and sayings like "thanks for the warning officer".
@TheSeanBrewster: I was feeling depressed, then saw a guy with one arm and thought "oh man, I could be getting so much more sympathy if I was missing an arm!"