@somecleverthing: I'm unpredictable. Like a dad on a field trip.
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@daemonic3: [on phone] "Press 1 if you're a huge nerd" "Press 2 if you're a virgin" "Press 3 if y-" STOP TALKING, DAD! I'm trying to call Xbox support
@KevinFarzad: "Is it long enough to reach most people's beds?" "Yes." "Perfect, make it a couple inches shorter." -Apple, creating the iPhone charger.
@TheTalkingPipe: I bet those 300 Greek soldiers would have stood a better chance if they thought to wear armor instead of going to war in capes & speedos.