@corinnemlwsw: I'm vegan until my next paycheck.
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@OhNoSheTwitnt: I hate when people say "you always want what you don't have" like that's really insightful and not just explaining the definition of "want."
@internetluke: *hears robber in house* If anybody is there.. I have Updog & I'm not afraid to use it. "What's Updog?" Not too much haha you? "Robbing you"
@daemonic3: [interview] "Any special talents?" I can unlock any fingerprint reader "By hacking?" [flashes back to hacking off victims' fingers] Yes
@IRLPepperMD: [911 call] IM GETTING EATEN- *pause* Ok one sec. *holds phone away from mouth* Are you an alligator or a crocodile? *pause* Cool. ITS A CRO-