@DougStanhope: I'm watching a guy on tv who makes a living simply by having opinions about hockey wondering which one of us is the bigger pile of shit.
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@Mikecanrant: When the UPS guy hands you that pad where you digitally sign your name, you can put anything. Today I put "lame shorts" and nothing happened
@DanMentos: waiter: is something wrong me: what asshole serves quinoa with a burger waiter: sir, don't hate the plater… me: oh no waiter: hate the grain
@ShortWhiteNUgly: My nephew asked me what marriage was like. So I gave him a candy bar and told him not to eat it.