@Brianhopecomedy: I'm watching my 4 year old son give my 1 year old a hammer. He is so irresponsible.
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@jollyrobber: You kids today with your on demand music don't know the euphoria of hearing your jam come on the radio without the DJ talking over it.
@TheMichaelRock: My mom: I was thinking of getting my grandson a drum set for Christmas! Me: Funny. I was just thinking about getting a new mother.
@ninatreemonkey: Met my boyfriend on eharmony, also eharmony is the nickname I gave this vending machine, meet my sandwich