@BGH70: I'm watching Olympic athletes run 1500m, while trying to figure out how I can make the Roomba drive 3m to the beer fridge for me.
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@Ristolable: I had a teacher in high school who always assumed we'd give the wrong answer. "What's hotter, green or red peppers?" Green "Nope. Green."
@rolldiggity: Hate when the cop is like, "Sir, have you been petting kittens?" and I say, "I petted a few..." as I open the car door and kittens spill out
@Parker_Simpson: Took a screenshot with my iPhone with the intention of texting a picture of my cracked screen.So the answer is no I didn't graduate college.
@BeardSpice: BOSS: I don't know if you're the right man for the job BAKER: NO PLEASE *holds up dough* I KNEAD THIS