@BGH70: I'm watching Olympic athletes run 1500m, while trying to figure out how I can make the Roomba drive 3m to the beer fridge for me.
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@deardilettante: I'm meeting a man I really like for drinks. If I play my cards right, he'll be deleting my number in a few hours.
@CornOnTheGoblin: [doctor presses play] [video of me having a hard time slowing down after exiting an airport moving sidewalk] couple: maybe a different donor
@PaulLomax: The most unbelievable aspect of the Star Trek universe is that every ship they meet has compatible video conferencing facilities…
@Black__Elvis: If I were a woman I’d probably use tampons because it seems like it would be hard to stuff a maxi pad all the way up there.