@Squirreljustice: I'm wearing a burqa, fencing mask, & a welding helmet while reading a book on cannibalism & an old lady on the bus still wants to chat.
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@Mekellie: As I see it, the act of lovemaking should be sacred, caring, and worth the 200 bucks I charge for it.
@Darlainky: [liquor store] Him: Did you see a cat in here? I know I just heard purring. Me: *looking at huge boxed wine selection* Him: Oh, it's you.
@GrowlyGrego: "I...I don't know, doc. I guess I'm just tired of being pushed around all the time." -Revolving Doors
@YosefHawel: Most young lives are lost not because of seat belts, but because the defibrillator needs you to sign into Facebook first.