@ch000ch: i'm wearing a jetpack to my job interview tomorrow so if they turn me down i can disappoint everyone there by just walking out calmly
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@Qu4rtKn33: Women who draw in their eyebrows are making a serious decision about what mood they're in for the rest of that day.
@d_duhwit: *baby crying on plane* Guy beside me: Can there be anything worse then a baby crying on a plane. Me *pulling out kazoo*: Let's find out.
@dubstep4dads: that earthquake in LA was actually a huge crowd of white girls rushing into a wal-mart to buy a green t-shirt last minute