@iRowlf: I'm wearing a shower curtain over my head and pretending to be a ghost. I probably look legit because everybody on this bus is avoiding me.
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@Ristolable: [At supermarket] "Excuse me do you work here?" WHAT? ME? Work HERE? Hell no. I went to college. I don't have a job
@Fred_Delicious: "Good morning, this is your pilot speaking" ... "AND THIS IS YOUR PILOT SHOUTING" ... "and this is your pilot doing some sick beatboxing"
@EndhooS: Me: Make sure Jnr. gets straight A's…[slides envelope] Teacher: Is this what I think it is? Me:[nods] You can use it to send letters & stuff
@sixthformpoet: If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands. There's nothing more endearing than happy people applauding themselves.