@iRowlf: I'm wearing a shower curtain over my head and pretending to be a ghost. I probably look legit because everybody on this bus is avoiding me.
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@Maxine12333: 'Leave no stone unturned' is good advice if you're looking for something that crawls out from under rocks.
@marcia_bee: Coworker: I lost my phone. Me: WHAT? CW: I don't know where it is. M:*perplexed look* You're not glued to it like a NORMAL person? Freak!
@KeetRidley: If a tree falls in the woods and the wife's not there to witness it, it'll be my fault when i get home.