@JesTurtle: I'm wearing the boxers with the little hearts all over them tonight.... It's probably not a good night to go to jail....
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@CatsForDinnerz: Opened a can of expired beans and an eagle flew out carrying a photo of a can of fresh beans. I nervously ate the photo while he observed.
@xysist: If Noah was not holding ' Control ' while selecting the animals that were to enter the ark, then the Bible is a lie to me.
@Dirty_Naomi: I sleep with a knife under my bed in case I can't open my midnight snacks. It also comes in handy if people try to steal them.
@prttylttleditty: Twitter is where the nerds from highshool shine because we know how to use correct grammar, metaphors, & sarcasm correctly. And we can read.