@JesTurtle: I'm wearing the boxers with the little hearts all over them tonight.... It's probably not a good night to go to jail....
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@Mindless4Miles: DJ: "MARRIED PEOPLE IN THE CLUB TONIGHT MAKE SOME NOOOIISE!" *Groans* *Sobs* *sighs* *a solitary gunshot*
@novicefather: Shoutout to that one time I confused narcolepsy and necrophilia during a job interview.
@ShesARealGenius: Lol how "take you out" could mean either we're going on a date or I'm gonna kill you.