@Anita_nap: I'm what you might call 'internet pretty', meaning I'm really your dad.
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@TheToddWilliams: [back from the ultrasound] MOTHER-IN-LAW: So did you see the fetus? ME: Fetus, handus, legus...there was practically a whole baby in there!
@Bob_Janke: My neighbor is having a nice party with loud music and everyone is having fun I should call the cops
@GoddessTitty: My neighbor told me to close the curtains when I'm naked, but then I don't get that cool sensation of pressing up against the window glass