@WildeThingy: I'm white and my wife is black. I'm trying to convince her we should adopt a Chinese baby so we can tell people that's how they are made
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@XplodingUnicorn: My daughter's school was closed for fog. Back in my day, Godzilla could be destroying the city & the principal would be like "2-hour delay"
@Parker_Simpson: Hey guys keep up the "Bush did 9/11" tweets I think the pressure is really grinding his gears
@PS_IRuddYou: Just drove past a new typewriter repair shop... That's not a front for anything illegal I'm sure...
@plethoricjake: As a child whenever I asked my parents to close the closet at night they always said. "Why? Anything that could kill you can open that door"