@WildeThingy: I'm white and my wife is black. I'm trying to convince her we should adopt a Chinese baby so we can tell people that's how they are made
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@vineyille: "Food expiration dates are lies. It's all about control." My knife breaks as I cut into a plate of milk. "I'm saving this for later."
@MischievousJam: I ate 23k pounds of cream cheese yesterday. BUT, there were nuts in it and I yelled FITFAM the whole time so technically it was health food
@TheTweetOfGod: "God is good all the time!" Yeah. Not you though, Russ. You sucked for 55 frigging minutes.