@stockejock: I'm white, but not cage free range eggs in my quinoa-kale quiche for my gluten, lactose, and peanut free Sunday brunch white.
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@leechee420: Accidentally ate the sticker on my apple. This wouldn't have happened if it had been a Snickers.
@jazmasta: [i walk in with broken ribs and face bleeding] yeah but you should see the other guy! [cut to: horse just chilling in a field enjoying life]