@iTomFoolery: I’m Winston Wolf, I fix problems. So I hear you’re having a bad hair day.
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@SteveDutzy: My pics are real. I don't use any filters. I don't even use coffee filters. I eat coffee straight outta the container like a man
@brennadine: I'VE GOT GOATLIKE SPEED & REFLEXES "Don't you mean catlike-" BAAAH [Climbs on top of roof and begins eating shingles]
@djdarrellripley: Me: Can my gift this year be a new secretary. Boss: I cannot legally assign you anyone until your last secretary's case goes to trial...