@eddiepepitone: I'm with North Korea when comes to being offended by James Franco and Seth Rogen.
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@carlyken: Every Political Ad Ever: I'm a rich guy who's not like the other rich guy he's a total douche. *Paid for by my rich guy friends*
@fridaycandy: Apparently If ur BF says "if anything happens to me,I want u to meet someone new...." "anything" doesn't include getting stuck in traffic.
@suntzufuntzu: maybe its the cursed amulet talking, but [thousands of locusts fly from my mouth and form a living treasure map on the ceiling]