@eddiepepitone: I'm with North Korea when comes to being offended by James Franco and Seth Rogen.
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@PabloGSerski: The secret of a long marriage is accepting the utter euphoria you would feel from strangling your spouse to death isn't worth life in jail.
@Brampersandon_: [Infomercial] HOST: Wanna learn how to lose up to 15 pounds with one simple trick?!? AUDIENCE: Yes! HOST: Here's how! *rips off his own arm*
@NathanBgood: "Can't beat fresh apple pie" she says, setting 1 down. I slam my fist into it. 3rd degree burns. "Wrong" I whisper 4 hrs later in the ER.