@VodkaShorebird: I'm with you, Hungry Hungry Hippos. I don't find small plastic balls very filling, either. I can't believe this what you guys eat in Africa!
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@AnOrangeSNES: All I wanna do is [gun shot noise] [cash register noise] [organ noise] [saxophone noise] [cow noise] [cat noise] Fix this broken synthesizer
@TheDjinnTrials: Twitter is an invention created by aliens so we don't notice the period of time missing when they take us for experimentation.
@Darlainky: Me: Ooh, I love those pretty Christmas lights hanging over the street. Cop: Those are traffic lights, what's exactly in the thermos ma'am?
@SardonicTart: I'm glad my office has this giant shredder because otherwise I don't know what I'd do with all this work.