@JennyJohnsonHi5: I'm working on a screenplay called '127 Seconds' about my fat co-worker getting his hand stuck in a Pringles tube.
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@INDlAN_: When someone tells me they’re a doctor or an engineer all I can think is: “wow your parents must’ve yelled at you to do your homework a lot”
@MartaEffing: Yes, you take my breath away... But so does a brisk walk, or the sight of an ugly baby. Don't be so flattered.
@sarcasm_inc: *The Terminator opens a fortune cookie. "It is ok to kill many people. Many killings are coming your way." John: I know it doesn't say that.
@Try2StopME: Good Morning guys! Just ran 21 kilometers in 2.8 hours. Really didnt know I could have done it. Temple Run is a really motivating game.