@JennyJohnsonHi5: I'm working on a screenplay called '127 Seconds' about my fat co-worker getting his hand stuck in a Pringles tube.
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@Mike_Bianchi: Tired of being single? Just lower your standards a bit. My new girlfriend is a coconut taped to a mop.
@Rachelnoise: Chemistry, ok. But soulmates? You'd think if our spirits were perfectly matched, they'd be comfortable at the same thermostat setting.
@NYC_Blonde: Me: One large buttery popcorn please! Him: Ma'am you have to buy a ticket to get into the movies... Me: One large buttery popcorn TO GO SIR