@JennyJohnsonHi5: I'm working on a screenplay called '127 Seconds' about my fat co-worker getting his hand stuck in a Pringles tube.
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@bornmiserable: [ER: Goth Unit] Nurse: Doctor, the patient is starting to smile Doctor: God damnit NOT ON MY WATCH I WANT 500 CCS OF JOY DIVISION NOW
@robdelaney: The best ways to spell the name Sean: 1. Sean 2. Shawn 3. Shaun 4. Chone 5. Shnzzang 6. Beans! 7. Ulurion 8. Shon?
@djdarrellripley: *At The Opera* Her: Where are you going? Me: I have to go to the Men's Room. Her: I have the car keys. Me: Shit!