@bencoffeehall: I'm working on my second million, since I failed so much at the first.
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@mishakey: Pretty weird to think that in the future, there will be old people named 'Hailey' and 'Brayden' running around in vintage Twilight t-shirts.
@OhNoSheTwitnt: Pregnant coworker with 3 children who always complains about money: When are YOU going to start having kids? Me: When are you going to stop?
@Bratterina: -If you say orange really slowly it sounds like gullible. Me: pfffffft *walks around corner* Me: (whispers) orrrrrrrraaaaannnnngggge