@illTortuga: I'm worried my dog will never find out who's a good boy.
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@DanMentos: "I just tried to make reservations at the library" You don't need a res- "Couldn't get one though" Don't do this "They were fully booked"
@moooooog35: You know the person in exercise videos that's doing the easy version of everything? I'm the guy behind that person eating chips.
@WhatevaConc: The word résumé has fireworks coming out of it to help with the pronunciation yet we're left to fend for ourselves with colonel?
@carlyken: *Walks into school* Simon says give me your Pokemon cards Ok now close your eyes *Walks out* Kids are so dumb I didn't even say Simon says