@illTortuga: I'm worried my dog will never find out who's a good boy.
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@jazmasta: "David you're late again!" "Sorry boss.." [cut to: me running on all fours through a forest chasing deer] "...traffic"
@fart: the bad guy ships on star trek werent actually "cloaking" they just turned all their lights off
@XplodingUnicorn: [Who Wants to be a Millionaire] Me: I'm stumped. Can I phone a friend? Host: What's your friend's name? Me: Wikipedia.