@urgeekisshowing: I'm writing a horror story. It's about a girl who forgets her headphones and her colleagues think it's ok to talk to her. So much blood.
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@BFNotAllowed: My boyfriend isn't allowed to break up with me. You wanna see other people? Look out the window.
@themorris23: In the car and passed by a cop and my 12 year old says "everyone be cool! Act normal!" Expecting that Father of the Year award any day now
@FatherWithTwins: Hell hath no fury like a 5yo who didn't get as many pepperoni pieces on his pizza slice as his brother.