@urgeekisshowing: I'm writing a horror story. It's about a girl who forgets her headphones and her colleagues think it's ok to talk to her. So much blood.
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@JasonLastname: 1. have a child 2. never mention it on facebook 3. dress it in old-timey clothes and have it stand in the background of all your photos
@Rollinintheseat: When a waiter sees my disability and asks the person I'm with what I want to eat, I respond "Our telepathy is a bit off. You should ask me."