@danabrit: I'm writing code, not making diamonds. Continuing to apply more and more pressure will not produce a better outcome.
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@derekblackmon: Still laughing about that time my grandmother said God told her to put my grandfather in an asylum because he was hearing voices in his head
@ZombieProblms: Zombies never bite hipsters. They taste fine. We just don't want to spend eternity hearing them say they became undead before it was cool.
@theshamingofjay: If you jump through the hole in a hipster's earlobe you get transported to a SIMS game where the only people are Harry Potter characters
@schlimp: *steals machine parts all year* *gets coal for xmas* "Santa you idiot, the parts were for a pressure chamber" *turns coal into diamond*