@TySmithdrums: Imagine a drunk porcupine trying to sneak into bed without waking his porcupine wife but his porcupine wife put balloons everywhere.
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@JayTuvz: I used to play the triangle in a reggae band but left because it was just one ting after another.
@ibid78: [my hot coworker Brenda & I at gates of Hell] BRENDA: we finally closed the gate, what should we seal it with? ME: a kiss? B: don't do that
@MarieColette: Get a hair cut, run away without paying. They can't chase you because they're holding scissors. The perfect crime.