@KKAlThani: Imagine a shark eating pizza. Imagine you were frog. Imagine a donkey wearing a skirt. Imagine someone telling you to imagine stupid things.
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@RuinMyWeek: [God & his assistant making giraffes] ASST: Say "when" once the neck is long enough, k? *God is on his iPhone not really paying attention*
@markydoodoo: Swiss cheese is cheating cheese cause there's holes where there could be more cheese stay woke.
@blaha_Who: You don't know pissed off until she tells you to go sleep on the couch, an you take all the covers with you.
@zachreinert03: Read about a 60 yr old woman wanting to swim from Florida to Cuba & felt inspired & wanted to help so I emailed her a picture of a boat