@KKAlThani: Imagine a shark eating pizza. Imagine you were frog. Imagine a donkey wearing a skirt. Imagine someone telling you to imagine stupid things.
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@WVUPRT: Girl at engineering school: I'm like the single-most clumsy person [5 male engineering students emerge from bushes] "Did you say single?"
@iwearaonesie: wife: What's the best moment of your life? me: That time I won a stuffed dino- wife: That didn't involve a dinosaur me: Our wedding
@shariv67: I would not advise turning your frown upside down. The surgery is extremely painful and not covered by most insurance.
@Just_Lee_: When someone is murdered, the police investigate the spouse first. And that tells you everything you need to know about marriage.