@DaddyJew: Imagine being rich enough you could take your car in to get looked at every time the check engine light came on
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@Blonde4Dayz: H: "Whatcha doing?" Me: "Going on twitter to hang out." H: "Twitter is an app, not a place." Me: *whispers venomously* "Is too a place!!"
@ehchino: [first date] I'm sorry, I fiddle when I get nervous "That's okay" Yeah.... *jams out epic fiddle solo for the rest of the date*
@TheTweetOfGod: The only way to make conservatives feel threatened by climate change is to convince them the climate is gay.