@SamGrittner: Imagine coming back to life as a zombie but someone tied your shoes together before you were buried.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Kyle_Lippert: Coming soon to NBC: She's a lawyer who, you guessed it, doesn't play by the rules. And he's a doctor who, right again, pees sitting down.
@Jack_Wagon1: Sometimes when I get a retweet... I blow on my phone, twirl it and slide it into my belt holster, then ride off into the sunset like a dork.
@Blunder_Woman: Forgot to pack tights so I'm wearing yoga pants with my dress and a long sweater. I look like a crazy cat lady.
@Tommytoughstuff: "DOUG YOU'RE THE NEXT CONTESTANT ON THE PRICE IS RIGHT!" [camera pans to me struggling with Doug for his name tag]