@SamGrittner: Imagine coming back to life as a zombie but someone tied your shoes together before you were buried.
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@Owl_Meat: [In a cucumber submarine] 1st mate: *inspecting leak* we're taking on saltwater captain Cptn: hm yes looks like we're in quite the pickle
@TheAlexNevil: First rule of camping: bring the kind of toilet paper that won’t attract animated bears.
@3sunzzz: 6yo: What is a solar eclipse? Me: Have you ever been outside in the dark? 6yo: yeah Me: same idea