@Stellacopter: Imagine falling in love with someone and finding out they raise their hand at the end of a long boring meeting to ask a question.
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@4SLars: [Explaining nomenclature to my niece] Well, you see, celebrities used up all the good names the year you were born, Fancy Feast.
@UNTRESOR: 8 hrs sleep: So refreshed 6 hrs: Feeling fine 4 hrs: I will rip your head off for a minor transgression 2 hrs: Why is my boss a Minotaur
@briancthayer: I've been jogging for 6 minutes & there are, literally, 9 vultures circling above me.
@jakefromstfarm3: A guy in Hawaii survived a shark attack while surfing by punching the shark in the face and I get scared to take a shower if I see a spider.