@Stellacopter: Imagine falling in love with someone and finding out they raise their hand at the end of a long boring meeting to ask a question.
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@JimCarrey: Time 4 the 3rd debate, the political eqivalent of driving past a street corner several times to make sure u choose the least skanky ho! ;^)
@John_Quaintance: There's no such thing as detoxing your body, but enjoy spending three hundred bucks on your diarrhea.
@NickadooLA: I don't understand interventions. What's the point of being told I drink too much by a room full of the reasons I drink in the first place?
@novicefather: Pro tip: If a woman asks you how she looks, the correct answer is not "like Dan Aykroyd."