@Stellacopter: Imagine falling in love with someone and finding out they raise their hand at the end of a long boring meeting to ask a question.
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@Dawn_M_: [making small talk at a party] Hair products are so expensive these days. Do you think that's why poor people look like shit?"
@CatherineLMK: Apparently nothing offends a toddler more than suggesting they might be due for a nap.