@Vodkantots: Imagine falling in love with someone and then discovering that he has faith in humanity.
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@niks27_shah: I was never a photogenic person, because when everyone said cheese I said "WHERE ?"
@SteveSuckington: Sure, there are plenty of fish in the sea, but they won't have sex with you either.
@MatCro: ME: I want the car's brake lines to rust SCIENTIST: I'm listening ME: [slides over envelope full of cash] But make it look like an oxidant
@AGreaterMonster: Mmmh, the wetness...don't stop, harder, oh god yes, more fingers...I love the way you rub my head. --me, getting a shampoo at the salon