@JermHimselfish: Imagine falling in love with someone and then finding out they say "worthwild"
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@ErinChack: FRIEND: A ton of people were at the party last night ME: Thats only 14 people given an avg body wt of 136lbs F: This is why u werent invited
@OhNoSheTwitnt: Social media is great. Before Facebook I'd never know what the girl who wrote "dirty Jew" on my 8th grade locker was thankful for this year.
@FrenulumBreve: Executioner: final words? Executionee:Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious Er: you done? Ee: didn't buy me as much time as I thought actually.
@astutenewf: YOU SHOULD BE CALLED JEHOVAH'S FITNESS! I yell as I lose my breath chasing them down the street.