@AlexvanBeek: Imagine how much more useful Superman would've been if he'd helped people move their heavy furniture instead.
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@Dawn_M_: Please don't tag me in photos where I'm not wearing my roller skates, I'm looking for a boyfriend.
@dshack8: Taught a parrot to repeatedly say "WHERE ARE YOUR GLOVES?" and now I don't have to talk to my kids until Spring so that's pretty cool.
@Try2StopME: Maggi is the girlfriend of the food world. It says 2 minutes but never gets ready in less than 20 minutes.
@dril: my garbage family is staging an intervention or something for me because i forgot what its called when people have a chin made out of hair