@BillDixonish: Imagine if every Sunday all your friends decided to only speak in a foreign language. That's how I feel during football season.
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@NurseSeymour: Just discovered an app that tells you which one of your friends is stupid. It's called Facebook.
@TheAlexP: Don't you hate when you do something out of the kindness of your heart & someone gets upset because you shoved a pack of gum in their mouth?
@LnL245: I'm in awe of people who can pronounce camaraderie correctly the first, second or tenth time.
@ComedicBust: "These diet pills better work," I say to myself as I wash them down with a chocolate milkshake.