@SonOfCha: Imagine if you killed a shark then got reincarnated as a shark but the shark you killed was really popular & all the sharks knew it was you.
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@maymay72x: Smoke a joint before hitting a buffet to really get your money's worth... Just saying.
@nbadag: [the noise of everyone talking at a party randomly goes silent] ME: i call hot dogs meat pickles
@VerifiedJayy: When a guy tries to talk to me while at a urinal I instantly slide over and start pissing in his urinal too. See how friendly he really is
@lawyerthoughts: "There is no such thing as a stupid question." - person who has never walked my family through attaching a photo to an email.