@SonOfCha: Imagine if you killed a shark then got reincarnated as a shark but the shark you killed was really popular & all the sharks knew it was you.
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@beefman138: *Brings pen to sword fight* Guy with sword : What's that? Me : Tis mightier! *Gets beheaded*
@LionJenkins: I measure my kids' ages in terms of percent complete out of eighteen years. My kids are 22% and 38%.
@JoParkerBear: [USPS] M: *hands change of address form* C: Ma'am, this just says "bathtub." M: I live there now. C: We can't send mail to a bathtub. M: Yay