@SonOfCha: Imagine if you killed a shark then got reincarnated as a shark but the shark you killed was really popular & all the sharks knew it was you.
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@Carmensadie: I changed my name in my daughters phone to God...just texted her and said "I saw that" You should of seen her face. Priceless
@TheDarkSideCEO: Optimistic Thought of the Day: You are always 1/3 of the way towards having a threesome.
@therealeatwood: [Self-Checkout] ME: also I ate a donut in the store MACHINE: Place the item on the belt ME: I can’t because I ate it MACHINE: Place the