@canadasandra: Imagine me with poor grammar. Wrong. Worser.
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@david8hughes: [drops son off for 1st day at daycare] "Ok, Mr Hughes, see you at 3 o'clock." "Not a chance. He's your problem now."
@FunkyFresh_79: Operator: 911 what's your emergency? Me: PEOPLE ARE TAGGING ME IN PICTURES ON FACEBOOK AND I'M NOT EVEN IN THEM!
@squirrel74wkgn: I'm pretty sure the coupon I gave you for a $7 haircut suggests that I'm not interested in that $44 bottle of shampoo, but thank you.
@JaySuch: My doctor told me if I was 5" taller I'd be at the ideal weight, so I'm going to try and give that a shot.