@garrettbarry70: Imagine meeting the girl of your dreams and then finding out that she eats spaghetti with a knife.
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@Jack_Wagon1: Ironic... is having a coke machine reject your dollar bill for it being rolled up to many times.
@KatWar1: [Commercial] *Camera focuses on a man choking on a whole apple* Narrator: "If only there was a better way?" [On Screen Caption] TEETH
@ValeeGrrl: 37yo husband just bought himself clothes from Hollister. Please keep my family in your thoughts during this difficult time.
@GrumpyBahr: People who eat hotdogs from a gas station, you know there's faster ways to commit suicide?