@garrettbarry70: Imagine meeting the girl of your dreams and then finding out that she eats spaghetti with a knife.
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@TheDreamGhoul: "you're breaking up with me, here? and now?!" "it's just not working out" *both continue pedaling tandem bicycle in silence*
@causticbob: A man has been jailed for forging banknotes. He also got a big fine which he immediately paid in crisp $9 notes.
@kirthyiyer: The location of a pimple on your body is directly correlated to how much your body hates you.
@fro_vo: asked my dentist out but she brushed me off, said she only dates plaque guys Not gonna paste any more time on that cavitease, it’s her floss