@Vice_Queen: Imagine meeting the person of your dreams and then finding out they use cutlery to eat a burger.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@mostlydelirious: Phone just autocorrected "your" to "yore" in case thou wouldst think I'm smarter than thee.
@david8hughes: [first day as aquarium guide] Me: & here's 8 snakes biting a soccer ball Guy: that's an octopus Me [sighs]: fine. 8 snakes biting an octopus
@murrman5: [to snake at news station] you can't do weather anymore "ssswhy not?" are we getting rain tomorrow? "sssno" do you see how that's confusing?