@RunOldMan: Imagine my surprise when I found out that don't is not the abbreviation for donut
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@SlabBaconBP: How to make your girl feel special: 1) Write down how you feel about your drink or drug of choice. 2) Put her name on it & give it to her.
@briancthayer: Kid 1: Hurt my elbow School Nurse: Here's an ice pack K2: *fever* SN: Ice pack K3: *diarrhea* SN: Ice pack K4: *decapitated* SN: Ice pack
@Overdue_Bills: Please boss, tell us again how important it is the company gets to $3 billion in revenue. I bought an 18 pack of beer with dimes last night.
@Fred_Delicious: "911? Help, my son has gone missing" [baby lowers hands from eyes] "Holy crap he just appeared out of nowhere"