@AndyRichter: Imagine you know a guy named Gary, & Gary calls his car the Garymobile & insists that you do, too. What I'm saying is Batman is a douche
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@lisaxy424: 1997 middle school me learning about Rome: But how could such a developed and rich society collapse so suddenly? 2017 me: oh
@TheAlexNevil: Him: What's that, Girl? Timmy fell down the well? Lassie (sigh): Let's go over it again: 1 bark means I'm hungry; 2 means let me outside; 3
@aka_fatman: *puts seashell up to ear* Me: I think I can hear the ocea- Seashell: Seven days. You will die in seven days. Me: (to friend) It's for you.