@AndyRichter: Imagine you know a guy named Gary, & Gary calls his car the Garymobile & insists that you do, too. What I'm saying is Batman is a douche
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@wendchymes: * kids arguing loudly about which one of them is my favorite * - dog & I exchange knowing glances and wink as I slip him another treat
@daemonic3: MILLION DOLLAR IDEA: An alarm clock that sounds like a dog's pre-puke warning grunts.
@ChickenFrecklez: Rude coworker said something very dumb & mean to me. She blamed it on pregnancy brain. I asked her if she was having triplets.