@MomOfTeen: Immediately after walking into a store with your spouse, stop, block the entrance, and discuss why you both came. It's all good. I'll wait.
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@haleysfalling: I've decided that I'm going to start texting people back. That's it. That's the joke.
@rmfnord: "Whoa! Hey there, buddy, leave me out of it. This has got nothing to do with me." - The Horse You Rode In On
@thepunningman: [interview] Boss: Your CV says eggs, milk, bread Me: That's right [cut to supermarket] Wife: Excuse me, where are the attention to details?