@MomOfTeen: Immediately after walking into a store with your spouse, stop, block the entrance, and discuss why you both came. It's all good. I'll wait.
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@Book_Krazy: The lazy river is my favorite ride at this amusement park. "Ahhhhh!" I scream as I float in a giant circle, not spilling my drink at all
@EndhooS: [Commercial for axes] [A lumberjack swinging a dead goat against a tree in the woods] *Turns to camera* "There has to be a better way?"
@msdanifernandez: My uber driver asked me how my day was so I opened the door and quietly rolled into the road.