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@Storminika: You ever lied so much on a resume, you're actually shocked that they gave you the job? I mean look at me, do I look like an astronaut?
@trojansauce: [me as a poltergeist] *putting forks in the spoon section of the cutlery drawer* ooooOooOooooo
@Ristolable: You can put a satire warning on whatever you want. People who think Onion stories are real do not know what that word means.
@briangaar: Republicans: Don't let Syrians in! Trump: Don't let ANY Muslims in! Republicans: TOO FAR (dude be cool, we’ve got an election to win)